I know, second post today.
This is all about what I have learned this week. We have been talking a lot about dating and marriage. There are different ways you can predict if a marriage will be a healthy one. A few are if the couple has the same values, same religion (same understanding and devotion), similar personality and interests. Personality can be defined as enduring personal behaviors.
Many people believe that opposites attract. This can be true, we sometimes find personality traits that we don't have, attractive in other people and some differences are necessary. We need these differences to cover each other. I am totally crazy and slightly irrational sometimes, the guy im dating right now is chill and pretty good at keeping a level head. He helps me when I get a little out of control and need a calm place to work things out. That is where differences are a good thing. If a couple has nothing in common and are completely different the marriage will at least have problems if it doesn't end completely.
When it comes to finding someone you want to date there are three rules of attraction.  The first one is propinquity, the ability to meet and have access to the person. The second is physical attraction. Its the first thing a person notices and it really is important I don't care what anyone says. The third one is behavioral attraction, a person has to be able to handle being with this other person and their personality.
Eventually when people date long enough they fall in love. There are four different kinds of love, Agape, storge, eros, and phillia. (they are greek or something so they are pronounced funny).
Agape is more of a quality of someone. Its based on intentions of doing good not feeling based. It can be likend to charity. Storge is a parent/child, sibling type relationship. A love where you wanna take care of someone, do things for them etc. Eros is the Sexual, romantic, intimate type of love. Its passionate, the kind people write songs about. Then phillia, that's the "brotherly love" the closs, friendship type love. You might think that it would be weird to have all of these kinds of love in a romantic relationship but in all actuality you need all four of them to create a healthy relationship. The eros kind of love is they type you can fall out of. It comes and goes. The phillia and agape are much harder to fall out of. you need a good balance of all of them.
In relationships there are things to be cautious of. Misattribution of arousal is basically confusing one feeling with another, such as confusing excitement with love. for example, a guy who takes a girl on a date through a haunted house. The haunted house will make her feel nervous and scared and excited while at the same time she will be hanging onto the boy who brought her there. Because of this she could misinterpreted these feelings of excitement because she was just scared half to death with the feeling that she really is very attracted to this guy.
When it comes to deciding if you and your significant other are going on dates or just hanging out look to the three Ps.
-paired off (you are responsible for your date and they for you)
-planned (you know a general idea of what your doing, where your going, and when you'll be home)
-paid for (that's pretty self explanatory, one person pays, gentleman, its usually you)
Now there are also three ps of responsibility's of husbands. we connected the 6 to each other.
-provide connects to paid for. you need money to provide for your family like you do for a date
-protect connects to paired off, you have to take care of your spouse
-preside connects to planned, those that preside over families or churches or anything much plan different activities and other such things. These are all attributes of leadership and I think most girls want a guy who can lead her family (with her help of course).